Ann Coulter

Jurassic World: Dominion Dominates Fandom Wikis - The Loop

Ann Coulter1.jpg
A photo of Ann Coulter (edited to make her less hideous), the bitch behind all the bullshit

Ann Hart Coulter is a "respected" author, devout Christian...Ah, screw it. She's a bigoted, Islamophobic, Christian supremacist, white supremacist antisemetic, psychopathic errrr.

Right wing eeerrr

Coulter is a purveyor of right wing extreme Bullshit though it's also possible that Coulter has no political affiliation and is seeking attention and will say the most outrageous things that come to her mind to get that. (She even insists a picture of her in clothing that would outrage a lot of Conservative Christians decorate the cover of all her books). She released several books, dependent on her new fame for book sales, exposing liberalism for the evil she insists it is! Coulter believes that she is native because she is Descended from the settlers. [1]

Alien movie.jpg
Ann Coulter portraying the main character of Alien, Elizabeth. As you can see, she needed no make-up for the job.

Jew perfecter

She wants Jews "to be perfected". She's one of those who believes that Jews become perfected if they convert to Christianity. [2] [3]. Now doesn't Christianity teach that no human being is perfect, you silly girl? Does that Jew perfecter stuff make her a Nazi? We should think before comparing people to Nazis. If Coulter got what she wanted that could be the end of the Jews as a culturally distinct group and that’s just a little like what the Nazis want. [4]

Fox News

No one took Coulter more seriously than the people at Faux, er Fox News, who brought her back as a frequent guest on the channel, soon making it apparent Coulter might be banging one of the producers to get this much time devoted to her. (All this assumes one of the producers finds Coulter attractive and wants to bang her.) Ann is the self proclaimed Liberal hating, Jew fixing, gay hating Knight of Truth, who has proposed some reasoned and thoughtful concepts like Invading Canada, [5] bombing the entire Middle East [6] and that the 9/11 widows should stop profiting off of their husbands death, unlike the Bush Administration that was allowed to use the deaths of these men to go to War. It is widely believed that Ann Coulter is actually a transvestite, due in part to her obvious Adam's apple. Either that or she is swallowing her prey whole. Neither theory can be discounted.

Her life and career

Early life

Ann Coulter on UK BBC Newsnight interview with Jeremy Paxman
Ann Coulter on UK BBC Newsnight interview with Jeremy Paxman
We like some jokes in Liberapedia.

Ann Coulter was born in 1961, although she has walked amongst us since the beginning of time. To the ancient Egyptians she was Set, in Persia she was Zahhak, the Canaanites knew her as Ashtoreth and the Babylonians as Ereshkigal. Every last part of her soul is as dark and rancid as an open grave and twisted with hatred; she no longer cares for living things or the abstracts that humans call 'truth', 'decency' and 'compassion'. She spent her earliest years (in this most recent vessel) in the woods, murdering baby animals simply because the noises they made in extremis both amused and excited her [citation needed]. There, amid the blood, fur and flayed corpses of a million baby rabbits, deer and marmots she planned her future. She spent her earliest years (in this most recent vessel) in the woods, devising foul plans whereby rich Businessmen could make a profit cutting down the Trees and denying the forest Animals a place to live. She vowed to herself that she would spread her malign influence across North America, South America and beyond, as she had done in ages past.

Master Plan

So Coulter formulated a master plan in order to gain influence in America. At first she took a box, placed it on every street corner, stood on it and started shouting and screaming every true thing she could think of. Rupert Murdoch, the celebrated corruption enthusiast, discovered Ann one day as her shrieking caused flocks of birds to fall dead from the sky and, as he looked deep into her swiveling, beady little eyes he knew he had found the perfect new pundit for the sense vacuum that is Fox News.
Ann coulter uppie2 tHYAwKd.sized.jpg
Someone decided to take an upskirt picture of Ann when she is on TV.
Coulter eagerly accepted the job and she brought her box to New York City where she stood on it in the studio and ranted at the cameras for two hours straight. Appealing to the drooling, cretinous and bigoted audience Fox News usually has, she became an overnight success. Coulter then decided to write several books about her cold heart, and they became instant best sellers. Liberals then started to 'unfairly' assassinate her character after she suggested all she wanted to do was 'perfect' the Jewish population. Coulter had many plans for the Jews of America. She had outlined plans to round them all up and place them in 'Happy Camps' where they would learn all about the wonders of their Semitic kinsman, Jesus the magic Jew. She extended her plan to also include Liberals, Atheists, Hindus, Homosexuals, Muslims, French and French Canadians and basically anyone not exactly like her.

Coulter began a feud with John Edwards after Edwards had the nerve to be too liberal for her liking, and wittily called him 'a faggot'. After being chewed out by Edwards' wife on Chris Matthews Hard Ball on MSNBC (a show about Chris Matthew Turkey slapping people with his balls of steel), Coulter summoned her underling, Satan. He was unwillingly dragged into this plane by a magic much stronger than his own and, after many hours of foul, agonising and profane abuse, was forced by the older and more aggressive God into giving her all his dark powers. With these dark powers Ann became more of a bitch than ever and personally fire bombed the New York Post and blew California right off the map.

Old age and decline

Coulter does not have the influence and media attention that she used to have. This is because the vessel she wears in this cycle of the world is starting to show her true age (counting from her first mention in human literature this would be on or around 5000 years) and lose her limited sex appeal, even amongst genuinely Heterosexual Conservatives (everyone else gave up on that giraffe a long time ago). Because of this her status as the prime Republican pin-up girl whom right-wing men lust after was usurped by Sarah Palin in August 2008.

Mental Health

Coulter has been certified as completely insane, although there are theories that this is actually a cover for cold, calculating and genuine evil. Some say she is both evil and insane, or quite possibly the best parody of all time. Those parts of her skull not occupied by frothing insanity are quite, quite empty as documented in the book "Brainless: The lies and lunacy of Ann Coulter" authored by Joe Maguire.

Donald Trump

This part of the article is serious.

Couter started off as a stong supporter of Donald Trump but later turned against him and believes Trump isn't succeeding with his border wall. [7]

Common Nicknames for Ann Coulter

  • Coultergiest
  • Rush Limbette
  • Mann Coulter
  • Beltway Barbie
  • Cuckoo Coulter
  • Ann Coltrear
  • Ann Cunter
  • That Conservative Female Douche
  • Cunt
  • Jew Perfecter
  • Man-Hands
  • Banshee
  • Wicked Witch of the West (In "The Wizard of Oz", not "Wicked." Good play...)
  • Ann Hitler
  • Uber Bitchette
  • I-don't-care-about-the-Jew barbie
  • Cunted cunt
  • Psycho-bitch
  • Just plain stupid
  • Tonight's Worst Person In The World

Some of these nicknames are in "Brainless: The lies and lunacy of Ann Coulter."


See also

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.