We sometimes like to mix parody and satire with good information. We know you're smart enough to tell the difference.

Bill after getting a pie thrust into his face

Bill Gates is a conservative business genius who realized that designing and selling numbers is more profitable than hardware.

Alas sad IBM

IBM believed that making computers would always be the main source of profit, and that software was secondary. How foolish that was. Bill Gates' company, Microsoft, stole the Disk Operating System (MS-DOS) that I.B.M. then used to run the computers they sold. I.B.M. let Gates keep licensing control of the software, and Gates parlayed that advantage into a near-monopoly on computer software.

The monopoly spread its evil tentacles

Once the majority of computers needed MS-DOS to run, all applications had to be designed to run on that software. Then Gates proceeded to buy out any company that developed a successful piece of business software, such as the Excel spreadsheet, and engineered it to depend on other parts of the Microsoft package. Once the majority of business adopted the Microsoft package of operating system and software, everyone else had to buy the same software to communicate with them, because Gates purposefully designed all his software to be incompatible with other operating systems and other software.

Brave Clinton sought to tame the monopoly

During the Clinton administration it was finally recognized that Microsoft was engaging in monopolistic and anti-competitive practices, such as designing Windows to only run the Internet Explorer software and not the very successful browser Netscape, which subsequently was bought by AOL. The son of a bitch grew rich and powerful, even becoming the richest man on earth; who cares, at least he’s a nerd, so people can make fun of him. Gates actually bailed out Apple with a sizable investment (remember that he’s so damn rich) so that it could not be claimed he had driven all competition out of business.

Bush relaxes hold on the monopoly

Once the Bush Administration took office the United States Justice Department backed off the suit against Microsoft, and they were let off with a slap on the wrist and a promise to be more careful in the future. The European Union has not been so kind, and has levied enormous fines on Microsoft for their illegal business practices.


To distract attention from all this Gates has formed the largest philanthropic enterprise in the world, the Gates Foundation, capable of exerting considerable influence on the direction of scientific research and government policy all over the world.

Is Gates good of evil? We can't guess.