Roman coin

Currency or Money is something that usually doesn't have much intrinsic value, but is instead assigned an imaginary value in order to be exchanged for goods an services. Because of their obsession with imaginary things, Neocons hold the value of money in very high regard. Despite The Bible, which they claim to hold a completely literal belief in, condemning money as an evil false God, Neocons can't help themselves when it comes to money. Generally speaking, conservative pursuit of currency leads to war.

Different types

There are many forms of currency in this world, usually corresponding to the country in which they are used, and there is a ridiculously complicated system for determining how much imaginary worth each one has in comparison to the imaginary worth of all of the other ones. This matter is further complicated by many countries reusing currency names, such as the Dollar, but making them look different, and thus have different imaginary values. Many people claim to understand this system, but nobody really does, since it changes on a daily basis.


Sometimes the sillier Conservatives can't even tell when we're joking.

Scientists have hypothesized that the conservative obsession with currency comes from an insecurity that they developed because they do not understand the system. The hypothesis goes on to suggest that perhaps these conservatives are attempting to gain control of all of the currency that there is so that no one will ever find out that they don't really have any idea what is going on.

See also