We sometimes like to mix parody and satire with good information. We know you're smart enough to tell the difference.
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Oil is a fossil fuel which comes from the remains of the dead, mostly plants that lived billions of years ago. It may or may not be flammable depending on the type of oil. Rich Capitalists take a stab at the ground and let the oil squirt out, regardless of who lives above it. The oil gets burnt in order to make money which adds to Global warming and kills the environment. Capitalists, Conservatives, and their supporters made up lies about Iraq, involving WMD so they had an excuse to invade the country and get oil.

Resources such as sulphur and toluene are commonly found within oil.

According to the US Energy Information Administration, the world consumes 98.8 million barrels of oil each day[1].


  • Agricultural use (Agricultural spray oil is used to protect agriculture from insects, pests, mites, fungi, and disease[2])
  • Anointment
  • Building (used as mortar between bricks, cement, et cetera)
  • Burning stuff
  • Caulking
  • Cooking (adding flavour)
  • Contributing to global warming
  • Destroying economies (in Venezuela, public services such as social security and education were funded by the money made from oil, and, due to the price of oil collapsing as a result of U.S. embargoes, so did their funds for said programmes)
  • Diluting heavy crude oil
  • Electricity (Burning oil to turn water into steam)
  • Fuel
    • Fires
    • Flamethrowers
    • Lamps
    • Motors
    • Torches
    • Vehicles
  • Heating
  • Killing head lice (USE ONLY for adults)
  • Lubrication (for instance, gun oil, which is used to clean a gun)
  • Making bombs (the aforementioned toluene is the main component of TNT)
  • Making fibres (some fibres such as nylon, polyester, acrylic, and spandex are made from petrol)
  • Making plastics
  • Making tar
  • Medicinal usage
  • Mosquito control[3]
  • Mummification & decomposition[4]
  • Painting (Linseed oil and other drying oils can be used to make oil paints)
  • Perfume (for its scent)
  • Removal of candlewax on glass surfaces
  • Sale
  • Torture (dosing someone or something in flammable oil before setting it on fire, or forceful ingestion of the liquid (it probably tastes bad))
  • Vehicular transportation (fuel, as mentioned earlier)
  • Waterproofing
  • Waxing in packages of frozen foods


Although some of the threats listed below are subjective and depend on the type of oil you are referring to, they are worth noting.

  • Carcinogenicity
  • Essential oils can can be bad for newborn babies if they get to the placenta area of the body; can cause itching, skin irritation, sensitivity to the sun and allergic reactions if used incorrectly; and can corrode tissue in the eye, causing scarring and temporary or permanent eye damage[5]
  • Flammability
  • Pollution (to the point that the World Health Organization declared kerosene a polluting fuel and recommended that "governments and practitioners immediately stop promoting its household use[6]"
  • Skin and airway irritation
  • Slipping hazard to vehicles
  • Some oils produce fumes, which can be fatal if ingested


The History of oil is interesting. Oil product were known early in History and perhaps in pre-history. Oil became important in business in the 19th Century. Oil was important during World War I and World War II as both sides needed oil to fight effectively.

Modern Era

On 12 February 2020, Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez passed nationwide legislation known as the Ban Fracking Act (H.R. 5857) which outlawed all new federal permits for fracking-related infrastructure and fracking within 2,500 feet (762 metres) of homes and schools[7].

On 8 March 2020, Russia and Saudi Arabia engaged in an oil price war that was immediately dubbed the 2020 Russia-Saudi Arabia oil price war. Consequentially the price of oil collapsed by 65%[8]. It had an effect on the global stock market and pretty much every country suffered monetarily as a result. Saudi Arabia won the oil price war, but it caused major diplomatic tensions with U.S. Senator James Inhofe wanting to place tariffs on Saudi oil imports as a form of "punishment"[9] (like that would fix the decline of oil prices). For the general working class though, the oil war was actually beneficial as, due to the war (and the COVID pandemic requiring people stay home, eroding the importance of buying and using oil), oil wasn't nearly as expensive and gas stations were forced to sell diesel at a much lower price.

Also oil

Oil is also something we use to fry food and we add oil to salads. Olive oil especially is supposed to be good for our hearts. We shouldn't eat too much of it.