Here we're parodying Conservapedia, and we know we're exaggerating.

If you want to lead the Republican Party it's best to be dumb. See The War on Intellectualism

"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself."- Harry S Truman

The Republican Party, also known as GOP (Grand Old Party), is the Conservative Reactionary party of the United States of America. It was taken over by Pat Robertson in 1989 as part of the Christian Coalition and during the Trump administration those who want Christian Sharia have taken it over.

Republican Logo


Though the party's intentions were originally good better in the days of Lincoln and the progressives of the early 20th Century, the early Republican Party was quite tolerant of nativism and anti-Catholicism. Things have gone horribly wrong since William Howard Taft's presidency, culminating in such presidents as Ronald Reagan who spent all the country's money on battleships that no longer worked. His administration also kept the lid on information about the spread of HIV/AIDS because of their homophobia, when sharing this information may have stopped the spread of the disease. If that’s true it’s all as bad as Murder.

The modern Republican Party

The modern Republican Party is unified by pursuit of power, and a collective disdain for reality, logic, taxes, and minorities. The ultimate goal of right-wing Republicans is to set up a Christian Sharia led by Pat Robertson and Ted Cruz.

The Republican Party is distinguished by its platform of reducing taxes on the wealthy, empowering and subsidizing large corporations, and outright hostility to communal protection and equality under law: stacking Courts plutocracy apologists, catering to the pharmaceutical industry at the expense of the average citizen, drilling for oil and leveling old-growth forest in the nation's national parks and wildlife refuges, giving incredibly lucrative non-bid government and military contracts to corporations such as Halliburton (in which former Vice President Cheney just coincidentally has enormous investments), depleting the Social Security Fund, denying affordable health care to millions of Americans, trying to pressure every citizen to become an evangelical Christian, trying to deny the possibility of abortion, keeping undocumented immigrants illegal to maintain cheap labor for business, blocking improved mileage and emission standards in vehicles to keep GM and Ford happy, supporting the use of torture and abrogating international treaties.

The Republican Party has also developed great technical skill in dirty tricks used to steal elections and discredit critics. These tricks are even used against each other, as when George W. Bush's campaign spread rumors about John McCain and denigrated his military service to win the primary campaign in 2000. They have included the use of intimidation to prevent vote recounts in Florida during that same election, and a successful attempt to block phone lines in New Hampshire to counter a Democratic Party get out the vote initiative.

The party of BIG

The modern Republican Party is the party of BIG:

Note: when used commonly, "Republican party" is an Oxymoron.

Party Infighting

This part of the article is serious.

The GOP is in the middle of a massive split between several factions, even worse than the social democracy/neoliberalism split going on in the Democratic Party.

Firstly, the moderate conservatives, who may have generational ties to a Republican Party of the past (the rest of the party hate them for not being racist conservative enough) are often social liberals. They recognize that the Democrats are not commies, and are fiscally along the lines of the old Blue Dog Coalition. They are the only sane respectable faction. Bipartisanship is often important to them. One famous example was John McCain.

The second type is the neocons, who conquered the party under Saint Ronnie. They tend to be socially center-right and are crony capitalists. They have recently fallen to even worse factions. Most (in)famous modern-day example is Dubya.

Then are the paleoconservative Teabaggers. Socially, they are Christian Democrats and fiscally full-on laissez-faire capitalists. The de facto leader is Sarah Palin.

Then there are the Trumpians. The platform is socially anywhere from right-wing to far-right and follows Teabagger-style laissez-faire capitalism. Its post-truth tone attracts several anarcho-capitalists, neo-Nazis, Dixiecrats, and neo-Confederates. The leader is pretty obvious.

Finally, there are the full-on wackjobs. Groups like the KKK and the League of the South, they are even more extreme than many Trumpians. They can usually only be found on the Internet, as in real life they would lose everything for the shit they say. Sites include /pol/, 8chan, and Metapedia. Some of the craziest advocate for full-on genocide or slavery, and some other, slightly less crazy ones advocate for segregation or a new Confederacy. Some make baseless claims that the Democratic Party is a communist terrorist organization.No, really. The most infamous is David Duke.


Here we're parodying Conservapedia, and we know we're exaggerating.
  1. GOP (n) Gay old Prick
  2. (n) plural: "Gas, Oil, and Petrol"
  3. (n) The "grand old party": The Nazi Party of the U.S.A. (Seriously only the very worst of the Republicans like the KKK are any way near as bad as Nazis. Yes, their policies in Iraq lead to mass killing close to Genocide but they probably didn’t intend it. Remember saying people are Nazis when they aren’t can make you lose the argument, see Godwin's law.)
  4. (n) alternatively "Guarding Our Privilege"
  5. (n) since 2016 "Golden Oligarch Palaces R'Us"

The party of greed, power-mongering, carelessness with guns, war profiteering, vulture capitalism and other forms of corruption. Recently they noticed how stupid this sounded and instead called themselves the "Grand Obstructionist Party." {citation needed}


The party's economic views include cutting taxes to the rich so that they can have even more money than America's working class. Once again the hypocrisy shines in the party while they frequently demand lobbying reform and simultaneously get kickbacks from big business.

They claim that cutting taxes will create jobs, which is an utter lie, as seen with the Bush tax cuts. Many Republican people are not job creators, but rather lawyers or wall street bankers. Then the ones that do create jobs do so by outsourcing to China and Mexico where people work for chicken feed.

Furthermore, they refuse to help poor people with welfare and food stamps, forcing them to remain poor and spend less money, which is bad for even those greedy capitalists.

The moderates often advocate for some welfare and regulation, but less than the Democrats do, and are often shunned as "RINOs".

Undemocratic control

The party took control in the country by appointing George W. Bush to the presidency, despite losing the election to Al Gore in 2000 (actually Bush won the 2000 election by managing to stop the counting of votes while he was still ahead). They lost the mid-term elections in 2006, but Bush still managed to ignore the people's will and remain in Iraq. Next, the people voted for Obama.

Also, before Reagan, health inspectors could go into supermarkets and inspect meat and pull it if it was bad. Not anymore. How's that for protecting people?

President Carter stated before he left office that his goal was to have 20% of the country's electricity to come from renewable energy, (he wanted solar power) in the year 2008. Reagan killed that bill. That hurt ordinary Americans, since, in 2008, gas was $4.00 a gallon and people didn't want to replace their engines with Tesla engines. The Republican Party attempted to oust President Obama and replace him with Mitt Romney in 2012. Mitt Romney lost because of his insensitivity to the poor. Despite Mitt Romney's loss, the Republican Party managed to keep the House due to gerrymandering. Donald Trump doesn't give a damn about global warming because he has voters in the coal industry and doesn't believe in it in the first place.


This article attacks Conservative Christians though we recognise that Liberal Christians can be better.

Religion is one way Republicans try to control the masses. Basically, Republicans try and convince people that only Conservative Christians will be saved and many in the congregations of Fundamentalist Christian churches act as if that were true. That can translate to, "Vote Republican or go to Hell."

They often like to claim they're moral, but they would rather abuse the power of religion. Most Liberapedians are atheist and can't be brainwashed by their propaganda. Republicans are often mad Christian fundamentalists who believe in and support the movements of Creationism and Intelligent Design and want those to be taught in schools. It is not surprising that most conservatives don't believe in evolution.

Peaceful Protests

In September of 2018, there were peaceful protests against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. This is not the only example of Republicans acting like fascists. In the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL), Republican lawmakers stole the First Amendment rights of the protesters by passing laws that make it harder for them to express free speech. In the freezing cold, protesters were shot down. Predominantly Republican police officers have arrested over 300 people in anti-Kavanaugh protests.

Bible. The Republicans' mind control device. And they don't even need to read it.

See also

External links

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